It's two steps in one. Maybe more like to sides to the same coin. What I've tried doesn't fix the problem and it never will. I don't have what it takes to fix mine or any other's problems. As I release myself from the burden of saving myself and the rest of the earth's population, a weight lifts from my shoulders. I thought I had to. My desire to control stems from the pain inside of me. How can I release this hurt and pain inside? It is such a constant source of fuel for my life. I'm tired of relying on my own strength to eke out an existence far less than my heart longs for. I'm powerless. I don't really fight it all that much. There's a comfort for me here. Maybe that's why I've yet to move to step 2.
I don't want to live my life dictated by my hurt and pain and the fear thereof. There is better for me here. How often I forget this! Meditation is such a sore subject for me. I avoid it like the plague. I guess I'm both angry for letting my dad leave our family and ashamed because I don't really obey Him like I know I should (should. guilt. shame. condemnation. Such a dangerous word.)
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It's two steps in one. Maybe more like to sides to the same coin. What I've tried doesn't fix the problem and it never will. I don't have what it takes to fix mine or any other's problems. As I release myself from the burden of saving myself and the rest of the earth's population, a weight lifts from my shoulders. I thought I had to. My desire to control stems from the pain inside of me. How can I release this hurt and pain inside? It is such a constant source of fuel for my life. I'm tired of relying on my own strength to eke out an existence far less than my heart longs for. I'm powerless. I don't really fight it all that much. There's a comfort for me here. Maybe that's why I've yet to move to step 2.
I don't want to live my life dictated by my hurt and pain and the fear thereof. There is better for me here. How often I forget this! Meditation is such a sore subject for me. I avoid it like the plague. I guess I'm both angry for letting my dad leave our family and ashamed because I don't really obey Him like I know I should (should. guilt. shame. condemnation. Such a dangerous word.)
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