National Poetry Month 2010

Meister Eckhart*

HE TOLD ME A JOKE

My Lord told me a joke.

And seeing Him laugh has done more for me

than any scripture I will

ever read.

~

Rabia*

JEALOUS OF A POND

When God said, "My hands are yours," I saw that I could heal any creature in this world;

I saw that the divine beauty in each heart

is the root of all time

and space.

I was once a sleeping ocean

and in a dream became

jealous of a

pond.

A penny can be eyed in the street

and a war can break out

over it amongst

the poor.

Until we know that God lives in us

and we can see Him

there,

a great poverty

we suffer.

~

IT ACTS LIKE LOVE

It acts like love - music -

it reaches toward the face, touches it, and tries to let you know

His promise: that all will be okay.

It acts like love - music and,

tells the feet, "You do not have to be so burdened."

My body is covered in wounds

this world made,

but I still longed to kiss Him, even when God said,

"Could you also kiss the hand that caused

each scar,

for you will not find me until

you do."

It does that - music - helps us

to forgive.

~

Kabir*

I WOULD BE GLAD

You are sitting in a wagon being

drawn by a horse whose

reins you

hold.

There are two inside of you

who can steer.

Though most never hand the reins to Me

so they go from place to place the

best they can, though

rarely happy.

And rarely does their whole body laugh

feeling God's poke

in the

ribs.

If you feel tired, dear,

my shoulder is soft,

I'd be glad to

steer a

while.

~

St. Teresa of Avila*

HE DESIRED ME SO I CAME CLOSE

He desired me so I came close.

No one can near God unless He has

prepared a bed for

you.

A thousand souls hear His call every second,

bust most every one then looks into their life's mirror and

says, "I am not worthy to leave this sadness."

When I first heard His courting song, I too

looked at all I had done in my life

and said,

"How can I gaze into His omnipresent eyes?"

I spoke those words with all

my heart,

but then He sang again, a song even sweeter,

and when I tried to shame myself once more from His presence

God showed Me His compassion and spoke a divine truth,

"I made you, dear, and all I make is perfect.

Please come close, for I

desire

you."

*as translated (with much artistic freedom) by Daniel Ladinsky

Book Excerpt: "The Essential Rumi"

From pages 132 & 133:

On the Sheikh

The existence of the beloved is not provable, nor is it fantasy. The Friend, as Rumi usually calls this presence within and infinitely beyond the senses, is elusive and nearer than the big vein on your neck; you need a mirror to see it. The sheikh is a mirror, a reminder of that presence, and a cook. The understanding that comes through a sheikh gives nourishment and transforming energy to many. Rumi's image of a disciple is a chickpea that sprouts and enjoys the rainy garden of sexual pleasure. It matures to its hardened form, then gets picked and thrown in the cooking pot. The cook's tending is careful and constant and, in Rumi's case, garrulous [excessively chatty]. Gradually the disciple softens and takes on flavors the cook adds. Eventually he or she becomes tasty enough to be appealing to those who in the sufi tradition are called the True Human Beings. So the chickpea moves from garden to cooking pot to a taste for the cook, finally to become sustenance for a mysterious community.

Chickpea to Cook

A chickpea leaps almost over the rim of the pot

where it's being boiled

"Why are you doing this to me?"

The cook knocks him down with the ladle.

"Don't you try to jump out.

You think I'm torturing you.

I'm giving you flavor,

so you can mix with spices and rice

and be the lovely vitality of a human being

Remember when you drank rain in the garden.

That was for this."

Grace first. Sexual pleasure,

then a boiling new life begins,

and the Friend has something good to eat.

Eventually the chickpea

will say to the cook,

"Boil me some more.

Hit me with the skimming spoon.

I can't do this by myself.

I'm like an elephant that dreams of gardens

back in Hindustan and doesn't pay attention

to his driver. You're my cook, my driver,

my way into existence. I love your cooking."

The cook says,

                            "I was once like you,

fresh from the ground. Then I boiled in time,

and boiled in the body, two fierce boilings.

My animal soul grew powerful.

I controlled it with practices,

and boiled some more, and boiled

once beyond that,

                                 and became your teacher."

Processing...Please Wait...Processing...Please Wait...

On being a man. Men's group on Wednesday night reminded me that I do not accept that I am an alpha male. Are the characteristics of alpha males inherent, inherited, learned, believed, environmental, necessary, important...? Were they beaten out of me? I felt the emotional sting of being a "have-not" last night. So, to soothe my wounds, I chose to eat. Did it help? Not a bit. I chose to "self-medicate" instead of reaching out. Reaching out to my support system around me. Reaching out to "Our Father who art in heaven." Oops.

Still processing...

I am now officially engaged to Rachel Scarbrough. This reality brings much to the forefront that I struggle to face. Debts that come calling. I don't want to bring those things into our marriage. It worries me to even think about it. I am worrying about the wind. I come by it honestly!! (Thanks mom!) So, I guess I'll choose to not worry about this anymore. Funny thing is, worrying totally punches the bruise I wrote about in the paragraph above.

Basically, it goes like this. Each choice we make either adds value or takes value. Taking value quickly leads to indebtedness. This is played out in my father leaving our family when I was 12 years old. This choice was just one in a list of choices that took value out of me. Through this violent act, I became burdened with a debt. My debt has a voice. I call him "Shellrude". He is only concerned about one thing - paying off this debt. At any cost. Even by taking everything: my heart, my joy, my stability, my life....

I finally had a talk with Shellrude a couple months ago. I had never spoken directly to him before. I told him I was not going to blindly follow his voice any more. I told him that I didn't have to pay this debt. I told him I was going to choose to give my debts over to Christ Jesus everytime he chose to remind me that I still had some. It worked. It still works. Even now, I now realize that this is an old debt newly rediscovered. Quite the bruise on my heart.

So, here goes...

Shellrude, I remove your right to call on this debt. I choose to give my Daddy this debt because He wants to pay it for me. I know that I inherited this debt from generations of fatherlessness. I don't accept your lies that I have to pay it all back. I don't have to pay it all back. I release myself from this debt by claiming the cross of Christ as my freedom. You have no power to hold me to this debt any more. Leave me alone and do not bother me again.

Still Processing...

Worry is a bottomless pit I often find myself either falling down or trying to climb out of. What a waste of time.

Still Processing...

So, I choose to be free. I also chose to call my dad today. I forgot that I don't get another biological father, and as much as I would like to prove otherwise avoiding him is not working. It hurts to even start thinking about the subject, but important nonetheless. What debt could there be here?

I know. I've known a long time. Basically, I want to forgive him for all he did without having to tell him how much he hurt me. It's not working. It didn't work then and it still has yet to prove fruitful. Bummer! What to do, what to do.

Suggestions? I mean it's not as if I could just talk to him. Hmph. Oh well. You know, I just want things to be the way "they used to be." LOL As if there ever was such a thing. Do you know how much money is spent every year on "reclaiming what was once lost"?! I could have better now though. Not exactly sure how, but I know that is what God wants for me. He can do it too. As "easily" as forgiving my debts. You know this whole forgiveness thing with my father is heavily influenced by debt. His debt that he could never pay me back. Hear that? He can never pay off this debt. Never. Why do I wait? I genuinely have often believed that if he could pay me back, then maybe I could pay back my debtors. Oh man that's scary.

My dad can never pay back this debt. There's a scary amount of loss and freedom in this reality.

Still Processing...

What do I do with this new statement? What's a boy to do?

Suggestions?

Still Processing...

There. I did it. I called and released him from this debt he could never pay. Here's to new beginnings...

Still Processing...

Bible Verse: Colossians 3:15 - 17

¹⁵Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. ¹⁶Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. ¹⁷And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

Bible Gateway (NIV)

Not only did God make a way for Peace to find us again, but we are able to live in this Peace for as little or as much as we want. What an amazing gift of love this is! Wow! You will find this Peace in the word of Christ Jesus. After finding this peace, defend it by challenging one another as iron sharpens iron and singing songs of praise for Peace has come alive! And always remember that the source of all freedom and peace comes from our Lord Jesus Christ. Praise you God!

Michael Barnett

^15-17Let the peace of Christ keep you in tune with each other, in step with each other. None of this going off and doing your own thing. And cultivate thankfulness. Let the Word of Christ—the Message—have the run of the house. Give it plenty of room in your lives. Instruct and direct one another using good common sense. And sing, sing your hearts out to God! Let every detail in your lives—words, actions, whatever—be done in the name of the Master, Jesus, thanking God the Father every step of the way.

Bible Gateway (The Message)

Herman Miller Aeron Chair Story

My girlfriend's co-worker posted a blog entry a while back stating how excited he was about getting a new chair. His existing chair was an Aeron chair from Herman Miller. He disliked this chair greatly. After posting his blog stating his excitement about the new chair and his disgust about the Aeron chair, the Herman Miller goon squad contacted him and invoked the completely misunderstood concepts of libel and trademark infringement (thanks RIAA/MPAA/DMCA/etc.!) as well as whatever scary sounding phrases they could drum up to forcefully challenge his right to share his opinion. Blech. No Good!

Lately

"France is like Fresno." So says Christian at the dinner table the other night. I'm glad that's out of the way. I never really like Fresno. Now I can save my money for other exotic locales. lol

Monday, March 2, 2009

I am spending some time writing, reading, praying and generally trying to rest and be peaceful. This is instead of my typical habit of coming home and "checking out." You know...watching tv and eating. This new leaf is in conjunction with my recent change in status - I am officially without a roommate for the first time in almost ten years. What an amazing feeling.

Work is going really well. Our help desk receptionist is taking a well-deserved vacation for the rest of the week. Selfishly, I don't even know why I am going in to work tomorrow. She keeps everything running smoothly. She makes my appointments, handles my calls, and keeps the squeaky wheels at bay. LOL I don't think I'll bother going in tomorrow the more I think about it.

I've started on a new project that actually snuck into my consciousness in the winter of 2005. I was working on a data entry project that used .75% of my conscious brain power to work efficiently so I found myself with extra time. Out of that extra time grew a few ideas that tapped into my excitement and passion. One in particular was a desire to create a safe place for healing and growth in an at-risk area. By a home and open the doors. Lots of prayer and laughter. Food for empty stomachs, love for hardened hearts, you know, the good stuff of life. An open door for widows and orphans. A safe place when life crumbles around us. God's presence to tie it all together. No pity parties, just lots of Heaven on earth!

So, I'm praying into that right now. Talking with people that will humor me and listen. Carving time to shape my heart into serving my Daddy. Taking time to consider the cost of not just living my life for my comfort and security. Making sure I am honest with myself about what this means. I want this, I just don't want to lie to myself about how much it hurts to die to my self-centered ways.

I was reading the Book of Daniel this morning. Two things stood out to me in the first couple chapters. First, Daniel's prayer thanking God for revealing Nebby K. Nezzar's dream. I love Daniel's response to God's love and faithfulness to Daniel. Second, Daniel's comraderie with Ananiah, Mishael, and Azariah. In verses 17 and 18 of chapter 2, a simple narrative is used to describe the community existing between the four of them. My heart just groaned a little at that picture of fellowship. I know God wouldn't have opened my eyes to the sweetness of fellowship in those two verses (it's not like they stand out on their own) for any other reason than to set this desire on my heart so he can fill it. I hunger for this fellowship of followers committed to hungering for more of God's radical love transforming social injustices into redemptive narratives of God's presence and hunger for more of us!

Time's up!